Sunday, February 15, 2009

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment





Women can sit around with our girlfriends talking about how much men don't make sense or how they won't act right, but we oftentimes find better advice by actually asking for advice from our guy friends. The only problem is our guy friends may lie to spare our feelings, but Steve Harvey is not trying to be our friends and he's telling it like it t.i.s. in his new book, "Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment." 

Harvey breaks down all of the things that women need to know about men in 15 chapters on relationships--mama's boys, marriage, whether we are the ones for men to sports fish (reel in and throw back into the water when they're done) or a keeper; when we should introduce men to our child(ren); why the 90-day rule for sex makes sense; how independent women can remember to be ladies; the three things that drive men (who they are, what they do, and how much they make); and why "We need to talk" is a phrase that is man's worst enemy. 

There are some contradictions within the read, like why women need to get out of the 1945 mentality of waiting on men to marry them, but at the same time, sticking to the chivalrous expectations of letting him open doors, wearing heels, carrying heavy items and letting him fix things and paint. (However, I interviewed him for the "Chicago Defender" [article will be out in February sometime] and he explained why he felt some old-fashioned values should still be met. His analysis made sense too.) 






But for every contradiction, there are lessons that make so much sense. Harvey has a point. Women are far more complex with their emotions than men are, judging from his research and his own opinions and observance from my own friends. Poet Maya Angelou said it best when saying "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." That was the main theme throughout Harvey's read--to set standards and stick to them. While some men may feel like Harvey is snitching, women like myself finished the read feeling educated and confident in my past decisions. Excellent and quick read, but grab your highlighters and take notes. 
Women: if you go into this book thinking that Steve Harvey will give you the answer to why you can't get a man, then you're sadly mistaken. 

But if you go into this book with an open mind and really listen to Steve give his opinion on why some women cannot get a man, you're going to really find out some things about yourself. 
I'm not saying Steve Harvey has the answer to the fountain of having true love from a man in your life, but he gives a very deep yet funny insight into what weaknesses and annoying behaviors we reveal that really drives the men we want away. 
I have to admit I was wary when I read the book. I listened to the show and he really has a great insight to the human experiences. 
In this book, I found the case studies enjoyable and funny, but I also was impressed how eloquent Steve was about the topics he address. 
Although women like to flowery metaphorical talk, we also need the hard bare bone truth of the matter and STeve Harvey gives it to us. 
I highly recommend this Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey as a great wonderful indepth whimsical read by a man who I believe certainly has enough human experience to preach to us."Act Like A Lady..." is a great book for women--of all ages. It's straight shooting advice from comedian Steve Harvey, who has written a thought provoking book on realtionships and dating. The premise is simple: You have to act like a lady, but get your head around the fact that men do think differently. THe gist, too, is that women don't go to the source when it comes to men. They talk with other women instead of getting into men's head. Well, he is a man and he knows what he's talking about. An absolute recommend